Eli and Sara are my brother and sister. Upon hearing of Shereen's passing, Eli immediately offered to come here to Hawaii to stay with me. I was in such grief, that I literally couldn't think straight - I was lost; the condo was in turmoil; and like Shereen, I don't like people to see me when I'm down. So I very hesitatingly declined his compassionate offer - I can only hope and pray I didn't hurt his feelings in some way as a result. Sara opened her house to me - she severally suggested that I visit in order to get away for a while. That too didn't happen - I was so overcome with grief, so tired and weak from taking care of Shereen, that I had absolutely no energy to travel. But nonetheless, they both stayed in close contact with me via e-mail - my preferred means of 'talking' - I couldn't hold a phone conversation without breaking down, so e-mail was how I talked to everyone - I even returned phone calls via e-mail. They both patiently listened to me as I constantly repeated my feelings of loss and loneliness over and over and over, and always replied in a very supportive way. As I look back, I wonder if I could have been the same as they were - never once did either of them even remotely suggest that I need to stop my constant and repetitive messages of how badly I felt, etc. Instead they always answered with uplifting words of support, which were of tremendous value to me - they warmed my heart in staying so close to me. They knew I was confused, of heavy heart in losing Shereen, and extremely vulnerable in any number of ways. At one point Sara sent me an article from the NY Times - it talked of the differences in how men and women grief based upon new studies on the matter. That article seemed to have been written just for me! I saw myself in almost everything it said, which translated into relief that I was still 'normal'. It also took away recurring thoughts of wanting to join Shereen, and how best to accomplish that. But I know Shereen is always with me, and I know she had to work extra hard to avoid a situation where our daughter would be without both parents. Little did Sara know just how timely the article she sent was to me. Although I thought of Denise every time I thought of joining Shereen, my overwhelming grief almost overshadowed everything - I rationalized that Denise would end up with a decent inheritance, and so my demise would have a lesser impact on her. How so terribly stupid as I look back - but that is also part of the grieving process. Eventually however, I found that time does cure, but does not eliminate the devastation of losing a spouse. I've met people who have lost a spouse upwards of 20 years ago and they still break into tears. The article also removed doubts if I would ever get back on track - would life eventually return to some form of normalcy? Yes, and again, family support and time does help - it's taken me almost 14 months to find that out, and although I still have deep periods of depression, I also have some really good days now as well - wonderful days I haven't experienced in over a year. So now I'm at a point of how to reply to Eli and Sara. It seems so empty to only say 'thank you' - certainly there must be a better way to express my sincere appreciation for their regular and constant closeness. But I don't know what those words are. It's as if it's almost impossible to properly express my feelings in a truly meaningful way. But no matter, THANK YOU Eli and Sara. I will never forget how much you helped me through this most terrible event in my life. God bless you both.